How-to Drop Night Feeds
Ready to drop night feeds and finally sleep through the night again?!
Night weaning is the process of gradually reducing or eliminating nighttime feedings so that you are your baby can get more restful sleep. This is an important step towards more independent sleep!
I’ve created the acronym, B.E.D.R.O.C.K.S, to guide you through this process!
If your baby is 4 months or older and showing stable weight gain, but you are still feeding them multiple times a night, it may be time to teach them the sleep skills required to drop any unnecessary night feeds.
There is no certain age that a baby will be ready to drop night feeds at. There are some babies who will be ready to sleep through the night without a feed as early as 4-5 months! Others will still need up to one night feed until around 9 months of age (this is more common in breastfed babies).
This post talks more about what “sleeping through the night” means at different ages. If your baby is waking up for an age-appropriate feed, then going back to sleep for the rest of the night, that still counts as sleeping through the night!
But how will you know when your baby is ready to drop their last night feed?
By letting them lead the way.
When your baby learns independent sleep skills, they will be able to put themselves back to sleep when they wake up throughout the night - unless they’re hungry!
Some babies will drop night feeds on their own once they learn independent sleep skills. But other babies are going to need a little nudge. You’ll know it’s time to give them that nudge when they are no longer sleeping well with a night feed. This usually looks like taking longer to settle back to sleep after the feed and/or one or more wakings even after being fed. These are signs that the feed is out of habit, not hunger.
When you decide to drop it (if baby doesn’t do it voluntarily) is your own personal decision! I warn most of my clients that if they wait too long, it’s going to be harder to do. As the saying goes, old habits die hard. This is why I recommend dropping the last night feed by 9 months at the latest.
Whatever the case, eventually you are going to want full, uninterrupted nights of sleep. Here’s how you do it.
Break the feed-to-sleep association.
First things first, you must break the feed-to-sleep association if your child has one. This will ensure that they are not using a nighttime feed as a means to get back to sleep, instead of for nutrition. I call this the “snack and snooze”. They aren’t really hungry, but they don’t know another way to fall asleep.
If your child is getting drowsy or falling asleep while feeding, either on the bottle or the breast, then you have a feed-to-sleep association. Yes, drowsiness counts too! That is the first stage of sleep!
Work on moving the bedtime feed earlier in their routine before they become drowsy and keep them awake for the entire feed! Then, use your other parenting skills to help them soothe them to sleep! You will eventually want to teach them to fall asleep on their own, but the feed-to-sleep association is the strong, so it’s okay to take it one step at a time and offer them support in other ways when you decide to stop feeding to sleep.
Eating every 2-4 hours during the daytime.
You should be offering your child a feed every 2-4 hours during the day, according to their hunger cues. By 5-6 months of age, most babies are able to get all of their calories during their day. (If you’re unsure, double check with your pediatrician).
I suggest an Eat-Play-Sleep routine, which is simply a way to organize your child’s naps and feedings throughout the day. Once their wake windows get longer (about 2.5-3 hours), this will start to look more like an Eat-Play-Eat-Sleep routine, with a small feed being offered 20-30 minutes before naps.
By ensuring your baby is filling up throughout the day, you can eliminate unnecessary night feeds. If your child is currently reverse cycling (consuming more calories at night than during the day) you are going to need to cut down on night feeds in order for them to be hungry enough to eat more during the daytime. Keep reading…
Down awake at bedtime.
Bedtime sets the tone for the night. Make sure your little one is going down into their crib or bed at bedtime awake, not drowsy, and definitely not being transferred into their bed asleep. This is the process of sleep training: removing sleep props - such as rocking, nursing, bouncing, etc - so that your child can learn to sleep more peacefully.
Our coaching packages provide you with a personalized step-by-step plan for your chosen method of sleep training, along with my guidance and support during the process.
Do you need to sleep train in order to drop night feeds? No. But without independent sleep skills, your baby will still need your assistance throughout the night to get back to sleep.
If you are already doing all of the above, and your child has not dropped the last feed on their own, then you’re ready for the next steps!
Respond with intention.
This is one of the most important things that I teach the parents I work with. Instead of reacting to wakings by automatically offering a feeding, pause first, then respond.
As parents, we want to be responsive, but we don’t want to be reactive. Thoughtful and intentional responses help you reach your sleep goals. Reactions do the opposite.
The goal is to ask yourself, “does it really make sense that they could be hungry? Or am I wanting to offer a feed because that’s the quickest way to get them back to sleep?”
Even without sleep training, studies show that delaying nighttime responses by only 3 minutes increases baby’s ability to self soothe by 12 months of age.
I know, this is easier said than done in the middle of the night. That’s why so many families are struggling with unnecessary night feeds! But resist the urge to take the “easy route” and use your other parenting skills to help them back to sleep. If sleep training, respond in a way that is consistent with the method you have chosen.
Offer a feed at first waking after a long stretch.
Offer a feed at the first waking after a long stretch of sleep (at least 3-4 hours). That means, if you put your child to bed at 7:00pm and they wake up 2 hours later, it is too early to offer a feed.
If on two feeds, make sure they are at least 3 hours apart. So, if the first feed was offered at midnight, you would not feed again at a 2:00 a.m. waking.
If it is a reasonable time for a feed, go to them right away (after the initial pause) and feed them. Three to four hours is a guideline because you need to start somewhere. If you notice that they are not taking a full feed or they are not settling back to sleep easily after the feed, then you will want to note that and extend the time before a feed is offered.
By all means, you want to avoid offering a feed after a prolonged period of crying as this will only reinforce crying.
Bonus tip: once they have shown you they can go 5 hours without a feed, for example, hold them to that. For example, if they go to bed at 7:00 p.m. and don’t have their first waking until midnight, you would offer a feed then. But the next night, if they go to bed at 7:00 p.m. again but wake up for the first time at 10:00 p.m., you will not offer a feed even though it’s been 3 hours, because their “personal best” is 5 hours.
Take note of the feeding (s). What time was it? How long did they feed for (if nursing) or how many ounces did they take (if bottled fed)? Did they settle back to sleep easily after the feed? Write it down. You will need this information for the next step.
Cut down the length or the amount of the feed gradually.
Now that you know what your starting point is, cut the feeding by 2-3 minutes or 1-2 ounces each night until you’re down to 5 minutes or 3 ounces. If bottle feeding, add those ounces back during the day. A nursing baby will make this adjustment on their own.
At this point, you will stop offering the feed completely. Usually, it takes about 3-5 nights to get to this point.
If on two feeds, once they are both down to 5 minutes or 3 ounces, stop offering a second feed. After one night with only one feed, stop offering feeds all together.
For breastfeeding moms, this gradual reduction helps your body adjust to the decrease in demand at night.
If it’s too soon for a feed, if they’ve already had a feed, or if you are no longer offering the feed, you will respond differently. Give them 5-10 minutes to see if they will settle back to sleep on their own (like they did at bedtime). If not, go in for a check. For breastfed babies, it is best to send your partner into the room so that baby automatically understands that they are not getting nursed. I call this the “dad effect” and it works!
Remember, you are still responding to your baby, you are just no longer responding with a feed. (My personalized sleep plans provide more detailed info on exactly how to respond when not offering a feed.)
Keep your responses consistent!
You do not want to confuse your child, so you must be consistent in your responses!
Once you have reached the point of no longer offering a feed, you cannot give in and offer one. This inconsistency is called intermittent reinforcement and it will only make this change more difficult for them!
The first few nights without a feeding can be tough, depending on your child’s age and temperament. But you are so close to making huge progress and those long, restorative 11-12 hour nights of sleep!
To be clear is to be kind.
Stay strong in the early morning hours.
A very common scenario is for a family to be stuck on one last night feeding…usually in the 5 o’clock hour. Early morning sleep between the hours of 4:00-6:00 a.m. is naturally light as our bodies release cortisol to prepare us for the day ahead. Often, a baby will sleep all through the night up until about 5:00 a.m., when they are given a feed by tired parents who just want them to go back to sleep for another hour or two.
The problem with this is that when an early waking is reinforced by a feeding, it’s here to stay. And let’s be honest, by the time you feed them and get back to bed, it’s a struggle to get yourself back to sleep. So essentially, by offering this feed you are ensuring that you’ll never sleep past 5:00 a.m. for the foreseeable future, unless and until you decide to change your response.
“But aren’t they hungry?!”
Well sure, by that time it’s been about 10 hours since their bedtime feed and they likely are a little hungry. But they’re certainly not starving and are more than capable of waiting another hour for a nice full feed to start their day. If they can go 10 hours, they go can 11! And once the habit it broken, they may even go longer!
Imagine not getting woken up by your child in the 5 o’clock hour! Better yet, you can set your own alarm for 5:00 a.m. and wake up to a quiet house. Take an hour to yourself, prepare for the day, get a workout in, journal while you sip coffee. The possibilities are endless!
You’ve done it! Your child is night weaned! I’m sure you’re so proud of them, and maybe yourself too, as you should be!
The most important thing now is to make sure you do not start offering night feeds again in a weak moment. At some point, your child will go through a sleep regression.
Maybe it’s just a developmental milestone that is affecting their sleep and causing more wakings. Your future self will thank you for working through those wakings without going back to old habits. Maybe your child gets sick, you should certainly offer extra comfort but that doesn’t have to mean feeding them (unless advised by your doctor).
If you are in need of more specific advice on cutting night feeds that is personalized to your unique child and situation, contact me!