How I Got My Babies To Love Their Crib.

Warning: It is not my intention to be “spicy” by writing this post. I’m just sharing my experience as a mom and sleep consultant who values independent sleep! Remember, not every piece of baby sleep advice is meant for every family.

My 16-month-old twins have always had a positive association with their cribs.

They ask to be put in it during our bedtime routine when I’m trying so hard to get them on my lap to read books.

“Upppppppppppppppppppp” they say emphasis on the “p” sound (cracks me up every time)!

So, why don’t they view it as a baby prison?

#1 They don’t know any different.

Since the day they came home from the hospital, my twins were in a bassinet in their nursery. My husband and I chose to put a day bed in their nursery for one of us to sleep on, in shifts, during those early months. That way, for at least part of the night, we each had a chance to be in our own bedroom, alone.

Now, that was partially a matter of twin survival. There’s obviously nothing wrong with having baby in your bedroom for the newborn stage. But I must say, twins or not, I highly recommend moving into the baby’s room from the very beginning instead of the other way around. It’s easier for you to move out, than for them to transition to a new environment!

Sometime between 3 and 4 months we transitioned them into their cribs, and we moved out. The switch was seamless as they had never known anything different than sleeping in their own space. The transition to the crib just meant a cushier mattress and more space!

#2 We never bed shared.

This is similar to the first reason, but worth repeating. Sharing a bed with us has never been an option, so they don’t feel like they’re missing out on anything! They aren’t even aware that another option exists (because it doesn’t!)

This is where I need to say: If bedsharing works for you, great! It’s just never been a thing in our family.

By not “going there”, I avoided having to transition away from it! Because once mom and dad’s bed has been introduced, the crib will always feel like a downgrade to your child.

And somehow, even as a non-bed sharer, I don’t feel deprived of baby snuggles. We contact napped like the best of them for the first several months, still do sometimes! Plus, there are countless opportunities for snuggles during the day. But when it’s time for sleep, we go our separate ways and that works best for us.

As far as my babies are concerned, their crib is where they sleep, and they sleep alone. No drama or FOMO.

#3 I didn’t teach them to hate it.

We’ve only ever used their cribs for one thing. You guessed it…SLEEP! I don’t put them in there for any other reason. When I needed to get something done or put one down for nap while the other waited for their turn, I would put them in a portable play yard in our sunroom to keep them safe and contained.

Yes, they often cried while I did what I needed to do. But I’d rather have the pack ‘n play be what they associate with these “mama-needs-to-do-what-mama-needs-to-do” moments than their sleep space.

We also spend plenty of time in their rooms outside of sleeping. My twins happen to have separate rooms, but that’s not necessary. They often BEG me to put them in the cribs during play time! And I oblige. Why not? They love to “pretend sleep” and they especially love to be in the other one’s crib. Oh the novelty!

The point is, they have never viewed their crib as confinement. To them, it’s always been a place to rest their tired little heads! A refuge.

#4 I am decidedly pro-crib.

What I mean by this is, I have known this was my stance since before they were born so there’s no inner turmoil for me about how I want to parent or handle sleep. My husband is on the same page about this as well. This is important because babies pick up on any tension we are feeling!

I’ve talked to a lot of moms who are content co-sleeping, but their partner isn’t, so she’s feeling forced to move baby into their own room. Or moms who wanted to bed share but are realizing that both she and her baby sleep terribly this way! Yet, she’s apprehensive about the crib because that wasn’t what she set out wanting to do. In these cases, you need to teach your child how to sleep in their crib. (I can help).

But first, you really need to get your own feelings in order. If you feel weird about the crib, your baby will too.

My stance on cribs is pretty simple. It’s a bed. For babies. Yes, it has railings on all four sides. That’s because they’re babies. Just like I strap them in their highchair and into their car seat, I want them confined at night for their safety.

Do I want my child to explore? Sure. During awake time.

If you have mixed feelings about the crib, I encourage you to do your research, talk with your partner and figure out what your hesitations are. However you choose to handle sleep, it should be your choice, not something you feel forced into or something you’re doing out of desperation because you don’t know how else to get your baby to sleep.

When you’re confident in your decisions, your baby will be confident too.

If the transition is rough at first, I encourage parents not to project their own feelings onto their child. They don’t “hate their crib.” It’s the change. Not the crib. But you can absolutely support and guide your child through this change and come out beautifully on the other side!

Am I saying that you’re screwed if you didn’t start out with separate sleep spaces from day one?

Definitely not!

While the phrase “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” definitely applies here, I have worked with dozens of families on making the transition from co-sleeping to independent sleep in the crib.

It’s never too late to make a change if sleep is not going well! But it can be overwhelming, that’s what I’m here for!

Sometimes it goes amazingly smooth, and baby was sooo ready for the independence!! Sometimes it can be a tough transition, the age and temperament of your child are huge factors. Either way, we can find a way to support your unique child during this transition.

What about the toddler who is already in a crib but having sleep issues?

If sleep goes downhill at any point, and your toddler is in a crib, please don’t blame the furniture! I guarantee you something else is going on (18-month or 2-year regression, anyone?!) So many families transition to a toddler bed thinking it will solve their sleep problems. It won’t.

But if you are at the point of wondering if it’s time for the big kid bed, I wrote this post about the crib to toddler bed transition.

I hope this advice finds the families who need it! And if it’s not for you, that’s okay! I still support you, mama!