How to go from Co-sleeping to the Crib in Three Steps
This transition is not nearly as scary as you may think and here are two big reasons why…
#1 Your child is going to sleep better in their own space.
(And by the way, you’ll sleep better with one less human in your bed too.)
#2 They are more ready for this change than you are.
(But that doesn’t mean they’re going to volunteer for it, it’s your job as the parent to make that decision)
If your child needs to be in full physical contact with you to fall asleep, you’re probably wondering…
Many families stumble into co-sleeping as a means of survival. Bringing them into your bed was the quickest and easiest way to get everyone back to sleep.
Others start that way intentionally but, at a certain point, become interested in more independence (for themselves and for their child).
And most continue co-sleeping long after it stopped working for them, simply because they don’t know how to UN-do it and assume it will be too upsetting of a change for their child.
No matter which situation sounds like yours, I want you to know that it is possible to make this transition smoothly! I have helped dozens of families do just that.
There are many reasons for wanting your baby or toddler to move out of your bed and into a separate sleep space.
Maybe you want more time in the evenings to get work done or spend time with your spouse or older children. Maybe you’d like to work out in the morning before your kiddos wake up (or just enjoy a cup of coffee in silence.)
Or mayyybe you just want to get a better night of sleep!
You don’t need to justify wanting your bed to yourself. I get it. And I’m going to tell you how to make it happen in three steps:
Prep for Success
For a baby, this means setting up their ideal sleep environment in their very own room! Grab my free guide for how to do this!
For a toddler, this means communicating with them about the upcoming change and getting them involved! Pick out new bedding together, a new stuffed animal for them to snuggle with at night, maybe a new night light (I recommend the Hatch on red). Start spending time in their room during the day, “role play” them going to sleep in their crib like a big kid, etc.
For babies or toddlers, start a consistent bedtime routine if you don’t already have one. Your routine should help them wind down and prepare for nighttime sleep, while also providing them with plenty of connection time with you before the separation at bedtime.
All of this can help them with the adjust, just don’t fool yourself into thinking it means they won’t still protest and push back against the change at first.
Rip the Band-Aid Off
You’ll see advice out there to make this change more gradually. For example, if your child sleeps ON you, have them sleep next to you. Then have them sleep further away from you. Then move their crib into your room. And so on.
I’m not always against making gradual changes, but when it comes to this transition, I think it’s terrible advice! Why? Because it’s confusing to your child.
To be clear is to be kind.
The best way to make this transition it just to do it, from one night to the next. Nothing in between, no half measures. I promise, this is going to make things easier and less frustrating for your child.
Teach Independent Sleep Skills
A co-sleeping child is dependent on you to fall and stay asleep. That means you can’t simply move them into the crib, you have to teach them independent sleep skills too! Doing both of these things at once makes perfect sense.
It wouldn’t make sense to rock, nurse or hold them to sleep, then transfer them into their crib, only to be going back into their room every 2-3 hours throughout the night to repeat the process.
The first night in the new crib is the perfect time to begin sleep training! A change in environment is an ideal time to break habits and help them learn a new skill.
But “cry it out” isn’t your only option! We teach two different methods; Leave & Check or Stay-in-the-Room. One involves coming and going, giving your child space while also providing comfort and reassurance in regular intervals. The other allows you to stay in the room with your child the entire time, then gradually fade your support over the course of several nights.
Which method is best will depend on your comfort level, your child’s age, and their temperament. In our infant sleep guide, we detail the step by step of both methods, how to choose the right one for your family and everything else you need to know to successfully sleep train your infant from 5-18months.
In most cases, the hardest part of going from co-sleeping to the crib are the bittersweet emotions that you may feel about ending the co-sleeping relationship. Those feelings are completely natural and it’s okay to acknowledge them, while still making a change that will help your family get the rest you all need and deserve.
