My Top Twin Sleep Tips
Frankie and Cole - 10 months old
“Double Trouble!”
If twin moms had a dollar for every time we heard that, we wouldn’t have to worry about all the extra costs that come with having multiples!
So, are twins double the trouble?
Well, yes. Twins mean double the diaper changes, double the feedings, double the outfit changes, double the gear, double the baths….and double the nighttime wakings. (Nooooo!!!)
For the most part, that’s the main difference between having twins and a singleton. The nuance with twins is that the babies tend to be more resilient, flexible and adaptable - they’ve had no choice but to become that way! In most families, as in mine, the twins spend at least some portion of each day with one caregiver. This means they can’t possibly be held all the time or have every need responded to immediately. So they adjust and the parents do too.
But what about sleep.
Twins are why I became a sleep consultant. Things didn’t go so well the first time around with only one baby, so I knew I had to take sleep extra seriously if we were going to survive!
Here are my Top Twin Sleep Tips, from a twin mom and certified sleep consultant.
Two Babies = Double the White Noise
If you’ve ever slept in a room with a newborn, you know that they are loud sleepers. So it only makes sense that when we use white noise to block out household noise for one baby, we should use extra white noise when we are also trying to muffle the sounds of another baby in the same room. A fan + white noise is one way to do this. Or a white noise machine near the cribs/bassinets and another by the door.
Ditch the Double Bassinet.
These types of “twin” items are marketed in such a way to make you believe that newborns twins care about being near one another or are even aware of the other twin (this happens eventually but not during the newborn phase). Now maybe this is the case for twins that were in the same amniotic sac, I’m not sure. “Mono” types of twins are rare. More often, twins are “di” like mine were. This means, they really had nothing to do with each other in the womb. For the sake of better sleep, give each baby their own sleep space whether that is a bassinet or a crib. Proximity to the other will not bring comfort, only unwanted wakings.
Adjust for Developmental Age.
The large majority of twins are born early. Mine were born at 38 weeks plus 2 days which is nearly unheard of. As in, they were practically full term babies. But I still keep in mind that they are actually a couple weeks younger developmentally than a baby born at a full 40 weeks of gestational age. About half of all twins are delivered around 35 weeks of age. So just keep in mind how early your twins arrived into the world and adjust your expectations accordingly.
First, Feed as a Unit, Then as Individuals.
The first couple of months when feedings are happening every 2-3 hours, it’s all about survival! So it makes sense that when the first twin wakes for a feed, you should also wake the other twin. Feeding them at the same twin gives you a chance to catch some Z’s before the next feeding. Otherwise you could quite easily be up all night. Now, once the babies get a bit older, about 8-10 weeks (don’t forget adjusted age!) their sleep will start to consolidate and we want to encourage this! At this point, letting the babies wake naturally for their feedings is the way to go. They will start giving you longer stretches of sleep, especially in the first half of the night and we don’t want to interrupt that! Plus, remember that these are individual babies even though we often think of twins as a “unit”. One twin may be ready to sleep through the night without a feed by 4 months while the other still needs a feed or even two. And that’s okay!
Write Everything Down!!
Not kidding. Do it. A notebook and pen has lived on our counter since the day we brought them home. It’s challenging enough with one baby (combined with sleep deprivation which affects memory) to remember “what time did he last have a bottle?”, but with two?! Next to impossible. Every single day, we have two columns and we record what time they started their day, the times of their feedings and when their naps started and ended. This makes it so easy to keep track of wake windows and feedings without taxing your very tired brain.
Separate OR Start How You Want To Finish
When it comes to baby sleep, I firmly believe that you need to do what works FOR YOU, not just blindly follow baby sleep advice. There is a school of thought that you should “start how you want to finish”, meaning that if you plan for your twins to share a room then that’s what they should do the entire time. They need to learn to adapt to the sounds of the other one and sleep through it. Okay, I can see that. But I did something that made more sense to me. And that was to SEPERATE them! We moved our twins into separate bedrooms right around the 3.5 month mark when they were starting to become lighter sleepers and more aware of their surroundings. Looking back, I think this is actually when by Baby B, Cole, was hitting the “4-month Regression” which is a permanent change in their sleep patterns. He started waking more frequently and he is LOUD, so he’d wake our other twin up. Once we separated them, she went back to practically sleeping through the night while we paid many visits to him. For us, this was better than both of them waking up all night long! When she hit her regression (actually a progression) I was glad they were separated so I didn’t have to worry about waking the other baby when going into their rooms. I do plan to move them back together soon. But the separation definitely made nights more manageable during a crucial period of time. To me, that was worth it! My advice? You do you.
Same but Slightly Staggered Schedules
You definitely want your twins on the same schedule, otherwise you’ll never be able to leave the house as one baby will always be napping or about to need a nap. But I also recommend slightly staggering their schedules, say by 15 minutes. This makes things more manageable as the caregiver. You can put one baby down and then go get the other ready for their nap. And on the other end of things, when one baby wakes up you have time to change their diaper and feed them before the other twin gets up and needs the same treatment. It helps to identify which twin is the more sensitive sleeper (it’s always one of them) and put them down first before they get extremely fussy and overshoot their wake window.
Sleep Train or Go Insane
I mean, it’s just true. When you have twins, you cannot be rocking or nursing babies to sleep all day and night. You would literally never get anything else done. It is extra important with multiples to teach independent sleep skills and to sleep train at an appropriate age so that you can maintain your sanity! Remember, sleep training doesn’t have to mean “cry it out”. Will some tears be involved? Yes, I won’t blow smoke about that. But guess what? A twin parent is already used to a little crying and that’s really all it is. It’s not the hours and hours of crying that most parents picture when they think “sleep training”. If you want to learn more about my methods (I teach two!) then set up a free 15 min Discovery Call!
Outside of these tips, all other “baby sleep rules” apply to twins just as they do to singletons!
Good luck to all the twin moms and dads! I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s worth it! We’ve got this!
Looking for sleep training support with your twins? That is one of our specialties! Work with us.