Client Case Study: How This Family Ditched Melatonin and Achieved Easy Bedtimes
Real Clients, Real Results.
Meet the Smiths!
About a month ago, I got a Facebook message from Jill. Her two oldest kiddos go to the same home daycare as my twins. I knew she’d recently given birth to baby #3. But that wasn’t the child she was seeking help for (it never is). It was her toddler and her preschooler!!
Their four-year-old daughter is a strong-willed little girl who had been sleeping in their bed ever since her new sibling came home - making sleep harder to achieve than it already is when you have a newborn to feed throughout the night. Prior to that, she’d fall asleep in her own bed but end up in theirs (very common). As for their 2.5-year-old son, he was sleeping in his own room in a big kid bed but needed a parent to lie next to him at bedtime (also very common).
Both kids were taking a looooong time to fall asleep at night, often awake even into the 10:00 hour. Jill and her husband, Curtis, knew it wasn’t enough sleep, so they'd resorted to giving them melatonin 30 minutes before bedtime. Still, it was always hard to wake them up for daycare in the mornings.
Everyone was TIRED but these parents felt overwhelmed and unsure of how to improve their situation. Thankfully, they asked for help! I was able to take the daunting task of sleep training two toddlers and break it down into a step-by-step plan.
First, I had them fill out my comprehensive sleep questionnaire. I learned that their evenings at home often included quite a bit of screen time. It was also clear that they were in a habit of avoiding power struggles to “keep the peace”.
This is something I see a lot! I dare to say that if you’re never experiencing power struggles with your little ones…it’s because they’re in charge.
Remember, it’s a toddler’s job to push against boundaries. It’s our job as parents to set limits and help our children feel secure.
The Smiths’ goals were to have their two oldest share a room, get them off melatonin, and have them fall asleep independently at a decent time so they could wake up feeling rested!
I wrote them a personalized sleep plan that took into consideration their unique situation and family dynamics. Then we met for 60 minutes over a video call to go through their plan in great detail.
My favorite part about toddler sleep training is empowering parents to be leaders - because it's never about “fixing” the child. Our little ones do what we teach them and what we allow. Making changes around sleep requires strong, confident, and consistent leadership.
“Boundaries are one of the highest forms of love.” – Janet Lansbury
We honed in on their evening routine and talked about how there would be screen time offered after daycare/before dinner (let's be real, we all need that down time) but when it was time to turn it off that was going to be a firm boundary. “What if they get upset?” Let them.
We added more active play time in the evenings to get their wiggles out and included special time with mom in their bedtime routine (especially important after a new sibling).
We even planned a fun family meeting with plenty of silliness and theatrics. I wrote a whole script for them (this was probably when they were ready to fire me😋)! The family meeting is an opportunity for parents to present a united front and talk to their little ones about the changes they are going to be making. The meeting included role play to help them understand their new “sleep rules” and told them what expectations would be going forward.
To be clear is to be kind.
Then the big family project known as sleep training began.
They stopped offering melatonin from night one of the sleep plan. Curtis took the lead and was the parent in the room as they followed my Stay-in-the-Room method. Naturally, there was some pushback and testing of limits the first few nights. But he handled it calmly and confidently - because we had a plan for how to respond!
Each night he’d leave detailed notes on the sleep log I look at, and we’d recap the next day. Sometimes we’d discuss adjustments to make and sometimes I’d just offer encouragement to keep on keeping on!
Two kids of different ages in the same room can be a little tricky. We were aiming for an 8:30pm bedtime, which was possibly a smidge too late for the 2.5-year-old but any earlier and the 4-year-old, who takes a short nap at daycare, wouldn’t be ready for sleep. It was a balancing act!
Lots of attention was given to teaching their oldest things that she could do while lying in her bed so that she didn’t keep her brother from falling asleep. (singing quietly to herself, thinking about her day, using her breathing ball, etc)
By the time we had our Week One check-in call, we were celebrating how well the kids were following their sleep rules. There was no longer any crying or whining about getting into bed when their light turned red. All my toddler plans use a toddler sleep training clock as a tool. I teach a simple “stoplight system”. When the light is red, it’s time to be in bed. When the light is green, it’s time to get up!
After one week, they were still needing occasional reminders during the night but had been successful at staying in bed all night few times already!
At that point, dad was still in the room while they fell asleep at bedtime. The Stay-in-the-Room method is all about gradually weaning them off of your support in phases. There was only one rough night during that first week, but Curtis persevered and stayed 100% consistent.
I saw him at daycare drop-off after that night and I felt bad for him! But I encouraged him that this was totally normal and part of the process. The biggest mistake parents make when sleep training on their own is giving up too soon. Everyone wants the rainbow – but you have to be willing to go through the storm. 🌈
On Night 10, as planned, he was able to leave the room completely after kissing them good night! At this point, we moved to “positive check-ins”, which means that as long as the kids were lying quietly in their beds, dad would periodically come back to check on them and give them another kiss. It worked like a charm.
The first few nights of this, it took them awhile to eventually fall asleep, as they anticipated dad’s next check-in. But they stayed calm and followed their sleep rules and they were praised for that!
The night after we had our Week Two check-in call, this happened:
In just TWO weeks' time, they’d achieved their goals! Combined with daycare naps, both kiddos are getting the sleep they need and there is a feeling of calm and stability in their home (you know, as much as there can be with three kids 4 & under!)
Mom and Dad are parenting in a more intentional and effective way, they’re leading. And that’s a beautiful thing!
Now, in our third and final week of coaching, we are working on maintenance. Two nights after our 2nd support call, the kiddos slept in until 7:35am when dad set their light to turn green (since they didn’t have daycare to go that day). 11 straight hours of sleep in their own beds! They came out of their room SO proud of themselves, and so well rested. The next night, they did it again!
Welcome to your new normal, Smiths!
This is what’s possible through sleep coaching! I'm proud of this family and honored that they chose me to be their sleep consultant! I hope their story has inspired you!