Navigating the 18-Month Regression

This regression tends to catch a lot of parents off guard. Maybe sleep is finally going well after a tumultuous first year. You feel like you’ve hit your stride, maybe even thinking about growing your family and then BAM!

Nap refusals. Bedtime battles. Night wakings. Early wakings.

It all came seemingly out of nowhere! What’s the deal here?

It’s time to make some changes.

Before we dive in to those changes, I want to establish one very important thing.

The only TRUE sleep “regression” (which is actually a progression) is the 4-month regression. That is when baby’s sleep matures from only having 2 stages to having all 4 stages that us adults do. Every baby will go through that.

But then there are all the other regressions, shall we list them?

The 6-month regression, the 8-10 month regression, the 12-month regression, the 18-month regression (that’s what this post is about!) and the 2-year regression.

Your child will likely not experience each one of these regressions, and if they do, it will be at varying degrees.

There are developmental milestones that can be tied to the earlier sleep regressions; rolling, crawling, walking. But what could possibly be happening at 18 months?

While this can be a peak age for language bursts (learning lots of new words) and separation anxiety, I have a different theory on WHY this regression happens and it might be a little hard to swallow….

Ready? Okay here it is:

You’ve held onto the baby stage for too long.

In your eyes, they’re still a baby. I get it. As I write this, I have twin 18-month-olds who we still refer to as “the babies”. But to everyone else? They’re toddlers. And the sooner you start seeing them that way, and shifting your routines in that direction, the better sleep will be!

So, what changes do you need to make to prevent or recover from this rocky period?

#1 Ditch the bedtime bottle.

I know it sounds scary but it’s so important to do. Ask your dentist if you need another professional to convince you! But it’s not only good for their teeth, it’s good for sleep. That’s because that bottle is no longer about nutrition. They don’t need to be “topped off” for the night anymore. It has, however, become a comfort item and a sleep prop.

Do I expect you to stop offering a bedtime bottle on their first birthday? No. But at age one, you should start offering it at the beginning of their bedtime routine instead of as the final step. Then? Make the switch from a bottle to a sippy cup. Have a goal to offer milk only with meals in a sippy cup by 15 months of age, at the very latest.

Instead of a bottle, offer a bedtime snack before starting your bedtime routine. Maybe it’s leftovers from dinner, a cheese stick, banana slices on peanut butter toast. A combo of protein, fat and carbs is ideal.

#2 Reassess awake time.

Now that you have a toddler on your hands, awake time is going to need to look a little different. Meaning, you are going to have to put in a little more effort than you did when they were a baby! They NEED to get their energy out! Weather permitting, get outside in the mid-morning and the late afternoon. If weather does not permit (Minnesota mom here), you still need to make sure they are ACTIVE!

If you’re hanging at home, make sure you have ways to let them be active inside! In our house we love the Nugget to climb on and make forts with! We may or may not have a bounce house in our basement for the winter months. Yes, I requested that as a Christmas present from the grandparents and I have no regrets!

Simply getting them out of the house works wonders. This is why we have a membership to our local children’s museum and use it heavily. Somedays, it’s just the library. Sign up for an activity like a Mommy & Me type of class (just make sure it’s not during nap time!) If they’re at daycare, they are probably getting plenty of activity!

#3 Add PLAY to the bedtime routine.

As a sleep consultant, I write holistic sleep plans for my clients. That means that my plans address routines and schedules as well as the chosen sleep training method. And there’s always a big change I make to the bedtime routine after about 12 months of age.

I add in PLAY TIME!!

Seriously, that cliché about dad getting the kids all riled right before bedtime? I’m here to say dad is actually on the right track.

Do your bath, get their PJ’s on, have a bedtime snack, and then let them get their wiggles out!! There are limits here. This should be a timed play session. After 10 minutes, move on with the routine with a firm but loving, “ play time is over, we’ll do it again tomorrow!”

Your toddler will love this part of their routine!

#4 Offer nap immediately after lunch

It’s not just bedtime. Naps can also be a struggle when this toddler regression hits. One thing I find to be hugely helpful is to focus on the timing of your routine.

If naptime is at noon, for example, offer a meal before. Then put them down for nap immediately after. So, they eat their food, you clean them up, and it’s right up to their room for the nap routine! (Yes, you should have a simple 5-minute nap routine). You can clean up the kitchen once they’re asleep!

This helps you to get them to sleep in their “sweet spot”, rather than trying when they catch their second wind a little bit after lunch. You know you timed nap right if they fall asleep within 10-15 minutes.

If your sleep issues are so much deeper than these tweaks can fix, that’s what my Bedrocks Toddler sleep coaching package is for! Together, we will get your child falling asleep independently and peacefully at bedtime, napping like a champ, and sleeping through the night in their own bed!