How-to Handle Naps When Transitioning to Daycare
As a sleep consultant and working mom of three, I know all too well how nerve wracking the transition to daycare can be. I’m not even talking about the emotions tied to it, though that’s certainly part of what makes the transition so tough, sometimes more on mom than on baby.
I’m talking about daycare naps.
Especially when you’ve put in the time and effort to help your little one become a champion sleeper, you value that so much! And we know how much daytime sleep affects nighttime sleep. The last thing we want is for all that hard work (and good sleep) to go down the drain once our child gets into a daycare setting.
Personally, I’ve utilized all forms of childcare between my three kids: nannies, childcare centers, and in-home providers. They’ve all been great experiences!
As a sleep consultant, I’ve also worked with dozens and dozens of parents who work full-time outside of the home and utilize all these different forms of childcare as well.
That’s why I can tell you, with absolute certainty, that daycare doesn’t have to spell D-O-O-M in the sleep department. Not even close. And yes, you can sleep train even though your child goes to daycare.
What if I told you that you have more control than you think?
In this post I’m going to talk about:
What to ask about when researching daycares
Opening the lines of communication with your daycare provider
Helping your little one adjust to napping in a new environment
How-to repair after a day of crap naps
How- to minimize the damage if your daycare forces the 2-1 nap transition too early
What to do when your toddler is napping at daycare and you’d rather they didn’t!
#1 Do Your Research.
When you’re a first-time mom looking for daycare, you don’t know what you don’t know. You make your choice based on a combination of factors including location, convenience, facility, nutrition, the “vibe” you get, and let’s face it, if there’s an available spot when you need it!
While it’s important to consider all these aspects, it doesn’t even cross most parents’ minds to ask about SLEEP! In fact, even after their child is already attending a daycare, most parents have little to no clue about how sleep is handled.
If you are in the position of researching daycares, don’t be shy about asking questions! Here are some ideas to get you started:
What is their overall sleep philosophy? Basically, is it a priority or an afterthought?
Is the provider/staff educated on pediatric sleep? Not only safe sleep but also, do they follow age-appropriate wake windows or are they just going to wait until your baby to falls asleep playing on the floor?
How open are they to input from parents about their child’s nap schedule? Do they welcome it? Or will you be expected to adapt to their schedule? And if so, what is that schedule?
What is the sleep environment like? How dark or bright? Loud or quiet?
How closely do they track sleep? Will you get a detailed report at the end of the day, throughout the day via an app?
At what age do they transition babies to one nap? Or do they honor each child’s sleep needs?
That last one is a big one. If all other factors are equal and you have the choice between a provider who will force your baby onto a one-nap schedule at 11-12 months old vs one that will keep them on a 2-nap schedule until they’re ready (usually around 14/15 months), go with the latter.
I am well aware that many parents reading this have already chosen their daycare provider. I also know spots can be hard to find, so you might not get to be as choosy as you want to be.
But that doesn’t mean it’s too late to open the lines of communication with your provider, especially when it comes to sleep.
#2 Open the Lines of Communication.
It is our job as parents to advocate for our child’s sleep needs. You shouldn’t feel like you’re overstepping when you do this. After all, it’s in your provider’s best interest to have a happy well-rested child to take care of. It will only make their job easier.
You can’t expect things to be just like home, but you should expect reasonable efforts to be made to accommodate adequate daytime sleep.
I worked with a client who had a 7-month-old in a home daycare. Her daughter was the only baby at this daycare, and there were a handful of older kiddos who no longer napped. The crib she napped in was in the main living area, within view and earshot of all the other kids.
No wonder she only got sleep if she was held.
Clearly, this mom needed to advocate for her child’s sleep needs but this is something that must be done delicately! Your relationship with your daycare provider is obviously an important one. And, as this mom shared with me, her provider did tell her up front that she “didn’t really prioritize naps”.
But as it turned out, when asked, this provider was willing to work with my client to improve the nap environment. It was a project, but she was able to create a little “nook” for the crib in an adjacent room on the same level, so that she could keep an eye on all the kids, while giving this sweet baby a chance to sleep! And it worked!
Think about what type of environment your child is used to napping in and share that with your provider. If they’re used to a certain white noise machine, maybe you can provide a duplicate for the daycare (this is probably most realistic in a home setting).
If your child has only ever napped in total darkness, and they won’t have that at daycare, start letting a little bit of light creep in for naps at home to gradually help them adjust.
But don’t think you must completely change your home environment to be the same as daycare. It’s to be expected that naps will be a little shorter and less restorative at daycare. But just because daycare naps won’t be perfect doesn’t mean they can’t be good. You’ll be surprised at how adaptable your child can be.
Whether it’s about the sleep environment or your baby’s schedule, share with your provider what you would like to see for your child. Hopefully, they will welcome feedback and direction.
For example, when dropping your child off, say “He woke up at 7 so he should be ready for a nap around 9:30 this morning, and then again around 2:00 this afternoon”. After all, you know your child best. If you don’t tell them what you’re looking for, you’re much less likely to get it.
Better yet, type up your child’s ideal schedule and give it to them! Update it as your child’s sleep needs change.
#3 Help Your Child Adjust
Going to daycare is obviously a huge adjustment for your child. Clear your social calendar for that first week or two because they will be coming home exhausted. Even if naps go decently well, there’s so much new stimulation that will wear them out. Make sure you can offer an early bedtime and restful naps that first weekend.
As far as your child’s sleep skills, start making necessary adjustments in the weeks before daycare starts. Just like you wouldn’t send your baby to daycare if they’d never taken a bottle, you wouldn’t send them if they’d only ever taken contact naps!
Practice laying them down, awake, in their crib for naps. Work with a sleep consultant if you need guidance on how to teach independent sleep skills.
If your child is already sleep trained when they start daycare, don’t worry if they get rocked or helped to sleep more than they do at home. Your little one is smart and knows the difference between home and daycare. Plus, they may really need extra support in that environment, especially at first. As long as you stay consistent at home, their sleep skills will remain intact.
For little ones 12 months or older, send along a favorite comfort item to help them feel secure. This should not be the exact same blanket, stuffed animal or lovie you used at home. Trust me, you don’t want to be trying to take the same item back and forth. It will be sure to get lost and then you’ll really be in a pickle. But a duplicate will work!
Maybe your older baby isn’t attached to a comfort item yet. This is a great time to introduce one! Maybe you can tie a tee shirt that you’ve worn around a new teddy bear.
When my twins started at an in-home daycare at 24 months old, they each had a blanket and a stuffed animal that they used in their cribs at home. But I didn’t have any way to get exact replicas for daycare as they weren’t newly purchased items.
Instead, I took them with me to Once Upon A Child and let them pick out new blankets. We did this a week or so before daycare started. I would bring out their new blankets each day, when we were cuddling on the couch in the mornings, after nap, or when reading books, to help them grow attached and familiar. This seemed to do the trick! They napped great even on their first day - and on cots, instead of in a crib!
#4 Do Damage Control
You’ve chosen your provider wisely, you’ve opened the lines of communication and you’ve prepared your child as best you can. Now you need to let go of control. It’s out of your hands!
That is, until pick-up time.
That’s when you to about repairing whatever happened that day.
When sleep is taken away, you must give it back.
Your 9-month-old only took two 30-minute naps? Early bedtime it is. A 6:15pm bedtime is very reasonable after a day of short naps at daycare.
Your 7-month-old’s second nap ended at 2:30pm and there’s no way they’re going to make it until bedtime? Take the long way home and let them get a 20-minute cat nap in their car seat. This “bridge” nap will get them to bedtime without being overtired.
Your toddler is used to napping for 2 ½ hours in the afternoon but on the first day of daycare, they only napped for 45 minutes? Pull bedtime earlier by one hour. The excitement of a new place will eventually wear off and their midday nap will lengthen. Until then, continue offering an early nap on daycare days.
You make up for a lack of daytime sleep with an early bedtime. Always.
The weekends are also a time to repair and catch up on sleep that was missed during the week. If you typically wake them for the day, let them sleep in until they’re ready to get up.
I have a client whose 6-month-old was on a 3-nap schedule before transitioning to daycare. Her naps at daycare are shorter, which means she usually needs a 4th cat nap when she gets home around 4:30pm. That works during the week to ger her the sleep she needs!
But when she’s at home on weekends, her naps are longer and she’s able to shift back to that 3-nap schedule that is more age appropriate. Eventually, her daycare naps will lengthen or her wake windows will increase. Until then, it’s okay for the weekends to look different than the weekdays.
This is also the case if your daycare forces the 2-1 nap transition before your baby is truly ready. If your 12-month-old is only getting one midday nap at daycare, offer an early bedtime during the week.
Then on weekends, put them back on an age-appropriate 2-nap schedule. Again, they will eventually grow into the one-nap schedule at daycare, usually by 15 months of age. This can be a tough phase, but it’s only temporary!
#5 Troubleshoot the Three-Year-Old Nap
This is one of the big issues I come across with toddler families that I work with. Their 3 or 4-year-old is still being offered a nap at daycare that they simply don’t need. This leads to a toddler who is still wide awake at 9:00p.m. and extremely frustrated parents.
At home on the weekends, they do just with without a nap and go to bed easily between 7-8pm.
It’s simple math. By age 3, your toddler only needs about 12 hours of sleep in an entire day. So, if they’re getting a 2-hour nap at daycare and your put them to bed at 7:30p.m., they’ll be up for the day at 5:30am! That’s IF they’re able to fall asleep as early as 7:30, most will need more sleep pressure to be ready to sleep after getting an afternoon nap.
Again, this is where you need to open those lines of communication with your provider. At the very least, are they willing to cut your toddlers nap short? I recommend 45 minutes max. You may still need to bump bedtime back a little but, but it will be more reasonable.
Are you able to send them to daycare with a special backpack of quiet time activities that they can play with during nap time while the younger kids sleep? Or is there an older group of kids that they can go play with during nap time?
Some daycares will flat out tell you, “If they’re too old to nap, then they’re too old to be here”. In that case, you need to decide. Either get used to the fact that your toddler won’t be ready for bedtime until 9pm OR look for a daycare that is willing to be flexible on the nap.
Switching daycares is tough, but so is parenting right up until your own bedtime.
I have had clients who switched daycares when this became a problem. It was a gamechanger for bedtime and their evenings.
In summary, the transition to daycare is incredibly exciting for everyone! I’m a huge fan of daycare. It’s great for your child to socialize with other kids and experience new things. And I can only speak for myself, but it’s good for ME too! I don’t think I’m alone in that! Whether it’s full-time or part-time, daycare gives you the chance to catch your breath and be who you are, outside of being a mom.
It’s a win-win for everyone if you can ensure that sleep stays on track! Using these tips will help you do just that!
If sleep is a struggle and you’re ready to feel like a normal, functioning, sane human being again, work with me to get your little one sleeping 11-12 hours through the night and taking restful naps.
