5 Tips for a Successful Transition from Crib to Toddler Bed
“How do I handle the transition from a crib to a bed?”
This is one of the frequently asked questions we receive! And it’s no wonder - the crib to bed transition is a big one! Parents want to know - when do I do it? How do I do it? How do I keep them in their bed? What if they stay up and play all night? If you’re a parent of a toddler, then read on as we dive deep into the crib to bed transition and answer all of your burning questions!
#1 Delay, Delay, Delay
The first, and arguably most important step is to delay this transition for Aas long as possible. At Bedrocks Sleep Coaching we are moms to three 2.5-year-olds who are still very much in their cribs. We know that this transition requires a level of maturity that our toddlers just don’t have yet. Parents often come to us with a variety of reasons why they are making the transition into a bed so let’s unpack those:
Parents want to make the switch. As our sweet babies make the turn into toddlerhood, we see them begin to walk, talk, and develop into tiny people. Parents often assume that the next natural step is to transition into a toddler bed. The issue with this is that impulse control does not start to develop until around ages 3-3.5 meaning our young toddlers do not possess the ability to stay in their beds. Even at age 3 it requires a great deal of coaching and support to teach toddlers to stay in their beds. Delaying the transition allows our child to develop their impulse control and their ability to understand the concept of staying in an open bed.
Your child is climbing out of the crib. The sheer panic you feel when you look at the baby monitor and see your tiny escape artist climbing out of their crib is enough to make any parent jump up and make the switch to a bed. We encourage you to pause and explore other options to ensure your child’s safety. Other options include: using a sleep sack, lowering the crib mattress, turning the crib around, and removing any items from the crib that could be used as a step stool (i.e. stuffies, pillows, etc.).
Additionally, you can teach your toddler to stay in their crib even if they are physically capable of climbing out. Trust us, it’s easier than trying to teach them to stay in an open bed before they’re ready (see Step #2 for how to do this).
Sleep is not going well. If your child is not sleeping well or independently in their crib, do not, I repeat DO NOT move them into an open bed. Moving your child into an open bed will not solve existing sleep issues and will likely lead to increased bedtime battles and more frequent night/early morning wakings. It is much easier to solve sleep issues while your child is still in a crib. Work on establishing a solid bedtime routine, teaching independent sleep skills and consistent responses to night wakings before moving into an open bed.
If you made the move to a bed and it is not going well - it’s never too late to go back into a crib! The key here is to not make your child feel as though they’ve “failed” or are in trouble. Simply put the crib back into their room without making too big a deal of it. Try again when you feel they are ready.
#2 Toddler Sleep Training Clock
Also known as an “okay-to-wake” light - this is a powerful tool when making the transition into a bed. So how does it work?
About 2-3 weeks before you make the transition into a bed you are going to introduce the Stoplight System. Explain the “sleep rules” to your toddler: When the light is red this means it’s time to lay in bed quietly and go to sleep (“red means bed”) When the light turns green this means it is time to get up and mom and dad will come and get you.
The Stoplight System is a great visual reminder of the expectations and helps toddlers make sense of their world. If they wake up in the middle of the night they can look over at their light and see that it is red, meaning they should keep sleeping. If they wake and their light is green, they know mom and dad are on the way to get them up.
The key to this system is consistency! As one of the last steps of the bedtime routine, you are going to remind your toddler of the expectations. Red means bed, green means it’s time to get up. If your toddler wakes in the middle of the night, go into their room, reassure them, and point out that the light is still red which means it’s time for sleep. Make sure your toddler knows and respects this system before making the move to a bed.
#3 Communicate Clearly
Clear communication is SO important during this transition. You want to explain to your toddler what is happening, when it’s happening, and what your expectations are.
Pick a date on the calendar 3-4 nights in advance. You can even make a countdown chart, paper rings, etc. Explain that on that date your child will be moving into their new big kid bed. Make it exciting!
Involve your child in setting up their new bed. Allow them to help pick out the new bedding, decide where it should go in their room, what stuffies they want in their bed, etc.
On the day that you will be making the transition, you are going to have a family meeting. Make it fun and exciting! If there are other siblings, involve them too! During this family meeting, introduce a bedtime routine chart if you don’t already have one. Remind your toddler of the stoplight system that they already know. State that the rules around sleep are not changing, just your bed is changing.
Role play! After the family meeting, go to your child’s room and role play. Act out the bedtime routine and then take turns “going to sleep”. You should act it out first. Lay in their bed and pretend to be asleep, when the light turns green get up. Then it’s your toddler’s turn! Have them act out going to sleep. Celebrate them and make a big deal when they follow their sleep rules.
While communicating with your toddler about this transition be sure to tell them what you want them to do. You want them to follow their sleep rules, lay quietly in their bed, hug their stuffies, and go to sleep. One thing you NEVER want to tell your toddler is: “Don’t get out of your bed!” Getting out of their bed may have never even occurred to them! Don’t put that idea in their head!
Reminder: It is important to discuss the sleep rules every night with your toddler as one of the last steps of your bedtime routine. Consistency is key during this transition!
#4 Secure the Door
This suggestion tends to be met with controversy but allow me to explain why we recommend securing your toddler’s door.
Before your child moved to an open bed they were contained in their crib. They were unable to leave the room and if they needed something in the night you would come to them. When we make the move to a toddler bed, our child is no longer contained in their crib but they are contained in their room. We have expanded their world and given them an age appropriate amount of freedom. If our child needs something in the night we are still responding to them - we haven’t locked them in their room and thrown away the key. We are still going into our child’s room to meet their needs, but we are not allowing them to come find us.
Another reason we recommend securing your child’s door is for safety. A 2 or 3-year-old should not have access to wander the entire house at night. Also - in the case of a fire it is better to have your child contained to one area. Why? According to the AAP, children under the age of 5 are not capable of rescuing themselves in case of a fire, meaning we cannot rely on them to escape on their own. Oftentimes when something scary happens (i.e. fire alarms going off) children tend to hide. If they are secured in their room, you are going to know exactly where they are and be able to get them to safety quickly.
Reminder: It is a toddler’s job to test boundaries and find the limits. A secure door is a physical boundary that helps make the sleep rule of staying in their room clear. We recommend securing their door from night one.
Another option, for parents who still do not like the idea of securing their child’s door, is to teach your toddler that they can earn their door being unsecured. That means you will show them the difference between their room being secured and unable to open and being closed but able to open. Explain to them that as long as they are following their sleep rules, you will leave the door open (“open” meaning closed but unsecured). But if they show you they cannot follow their sleep rules, then the door will get secured. For a lot of toddlers this is enough motivation!
Recommended products for securing the door: Door Monkey or Door Buddy.
#5 Expect a Honeymoon Stage
During this transition there will likely be a “honeymoon” stage. During sleep training or any type of transition it usually begins well because it’s novel and exciting. But then the novelty starts to wear off and this is where we start to see boundary pushing. This is normal! It is your toddler’s job to push boundaries and find their limits. Your toddler’s behavior will likely have ups and downs during this transition and it is important that you stay consistent with the sleep rules. The more consistent you are, the faster your toddler will learn the limits and things will go back to smooth sailing.
Know that it’s never too late! If you made the change to a toddler bed and things are NOT going well - it’s never too late to implement these strategies. This transition can really cause sleep to go off the rails. If this is what you’re experiencing, it’s a great time to RE-sleep train! We talk to families everyday who are struggling with this transition. If you need extra support, reach out! We offer 1:1 sleep coaching which includes a personalized plan and 3 weeks of support. If you’re more of the DIY type, grab our paid guide: “Behavior Strategies & Sleep Plan for Toddlers and Preschoolers”.